E3 2004 Page 2

Ahh, the adventure continues.  We'll start off this page with UbiSoft:

E3 - UbiSoft Jungle

I liked this setup.  Well themed, but not too overbearing, though if you look up, there’s probably enough lights for 50 rock concerts.

E3 - Call of Duty

Call of Duty.  The real thing, not the low poly Nokia version. :)

Noooo! Don't go toward the light!

E3 - XBox

Too late.  Pandora's box has been opened. (Note: You can treat that kind of like Christmas/Xmas – Pandora's box/Xbox).  Oh, the cruel times of difficult to control console FPS's are upon us.  Woe to our children who will suffer an even greater fate.  Oh, and that wall was lined with more high quality LCD screens that I could ever hope to feasibly afford after a lifetime of working...  Probably borrowed them from Gates' house.

While 3D Realms didn’t have an exhibit there, a representative did come to E3.  When some hardcore fans knocked on his car window and asked if Duke Nukem Forever was near completion, his response made the events take a turn for the worst...

E3 - Vampire Attacked Vehicle?

Kids, don’t just say no.  Learn some other vocabulary in case you’re ever put into a situation like this.

Oh, let’s take a closer peek at one of the UbiSoft exhibits: Ghost Recon:

E3 - Ghost Recon

Not everyone had a Humvee in their booth!  I mean, most people did, but not everyone!  I actually got a chance to talk to Todd Lewis, the director of engineering at RedStorm.  I’m hoping to land a job there.  That would be pretty slick as they’re even located in NC.

America's Army...

E3 - America's Army

It must have taken an army just to put that thing together.  That's not just some cardboard cutout.  It's a full blown building complete with ventilation.  Only at E3 would you find an air conditioned building inside of an air conditioned building.  All for a 3-day event.

Ok, now let's shoot some things, because shooting things is always fun.

E3 - Laser Shot

Calrathan blasts away at some flying sphere things.  It's kind of like Duck Hunt, but probably hundreds of times more expensive.  Oh, and it uses lasers.  This way you can say, "I totally hit that -- I saw the laser dot on it!" as opposed to simply thinking you suck and have your friends laugh at you when the ducks fly away... well, at least the dog will laugh at you in the event that you don't have any friends... stupid dog.  It wasn't perfect (sometimes the laser would hit near the edge of the ball and it wouldn't register), but it was still fun.

Hmm, Auto Assault...

E3 - NCSoft's Auto Assault Booth Babe

I didn't really care for this game.  We determined that if they spent as much time on the game as they did this display vehicle, it would have been pretty cool.  I guess booth babes have a higher priority for some people.

Here's a key figure that was at E3...

E3 - Square-Enix Kingom Hearts

He was important enough to be located in two key places.  Since he's holding two keys, that makes for a total of four keys.  Forkies, coincidentally, is the name of the comic I just made simply for the purpose of driving this pun further than was previously humanly possible.

The Forkies avoid serving spoons!

That was punreal.

The Logitech display was pretty cool.

E3 - Logitech DJ

Rather than simply having a screen like most of the exhibits did, they had a device that poured water down and then projected images onto the waterfall.  They didn't really have much to check out, unless that DJ is a Logitech product.  Androids these days are so realistic it's hard to tell anymore...  Wait, it's 2004, isn't it.  Nevermind.

E3 - Star Wars Republic Commando

No Star Wars exhibit is complete without storm troupers.  Everybody loves storm troupers, even if they do take your swag.  Fortunately I didn't have any swag to be taken since people were so stingy this year.  It also appears as though they didn't have any Star Wars (Re)Public Restrooms.

Let's play a little game called "count the projectors."  1, 2, 3, 4...

E3 - Nintendo

156, 157, 158... I give up.  I think Nintendo's exhibit used more projectors than all the others combined.  See all those images on the wall?

E3 - Nintendo

They change.

E3 - Nintendo

N....I....N....T....E....N....D....O.  Freakin' huge.

Here we have America's Army preparing a chopper to take on a giant threat to our nation!  You can see it creeping up in the background.  Better hurry!

E3 - America's Army Chopper vs. Spiderman

It was later determined that the treat was just full of a lot of hot air.  Here's a closer look:

E3 - Giant Inflatable Spiderman

I blew up the sign a bit so you can make it out better.  I guess this type of thing is a common occurrence in LA.  Bunch of weirdos.

There was also a lot of graffiti in LA:

E3 - Graffiti (King of Fighters?)

Look, they even had it inside the convention center!  Is nothing sacred?!  What's that?  You say this graffiti was intentional?  And the other stuff isn't? "Gee, officer, it was an accident.  The spray can just sort of did that all by itself!"

What's that?  Stop talking to the voices in my head? No? Just stop talking?  Well, ok.  I guess that's enough for a second page.  Wait.  I'll just throw a random picture of a church in here in here first.

E3 - Church

I think it had a haste rune in it or something.  Look at how fast the people are moving!

I guess I left several questions unanswered.  Stupid voices.  Fear not, the truth will be revealed on E3 page 3!

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Created May.22.2004, Commentary and photographs (c) 2004 Nathan "jitspoe" Wulf
Names and things in the photos (c) Whoever They Belong To.