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Other Stuff
This is a compilation of actual Church
Bulletins and Service bloopers:
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Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard
Get High".
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Don't let worry kill you -- let the church
help.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick
of our church and community.
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For those of you who have children and
don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Weight Watchers will meet a 7 p.m. at
the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the
side entrance.
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Jean will be leading a weight-management
series Wednesday nights. She's used the program herself and has been
growing like crazy!
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The rosebud on the altar this morning
is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs.
Julius Belzer.
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This afternoon there will be a meeting
in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at
both ends.
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Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an
ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
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This being Easter Sunday, we will ask
Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
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The service will close with Little Drops
of Water. One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation
will join in.
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Next Sunday a special collection will
be taken to defray the cost of e new carpet. All those wishing to do something
on the carpet should come forward and do so.
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The ladies of the church have cast off
clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
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Thursday night--Potluck supper. Prayer
and medication to follow.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed,
due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of
some older ones.
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The senior choir invites any member of
the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon
topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed
the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when A. B. Doe supplied our
pulpit.
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The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to
the delight of his audience.
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The church is glad to have with us today
as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green, who has Mrs. Green with him.
After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging
of the Greens.
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The eighth graders will be presenting
Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation
is invited to attend this tragedy.
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The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be
hell May 10 and 11.
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Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be
given to church secretary.
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Please join us as we show our support
for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles
and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
A young punker gets on a cross-town
bus. He's got spiked, multi-colored hair that's green, purple and orange.
His clothes are a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he's
without shoes. His entire face and body are riddled with pierced jewelry
and his ear-rings are big, bright feathers. He sits down in the only vacant
seat, directly across from an old man who just glares at him for the next
ten miles. Finally, the punk becomes self-conscious and barks at the old
man: "What are you looking at, you old fart?...didn't you ever do anything
wild when you were young?" Without missing a beat, the old man replies:
"Yeah. Back when I was young and in the Navy, I got really drunk one night
in Singapore, and had sex with a parrot. I thought maybe you were my son."
A young man, hired by a supermarket,
reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm
handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will
be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a college graduate." the young man
replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager.
"Here, give me the broom, I'll show you how." |