I had unplugged it,
While the 'puter was on.
Spontaneously it rebooted,
Keyboard and mouse both gone.

Soon under the rooftop,
There arose such a clatter,
As I desperately tried,
To solve the matter.

I tried an old keyboard,
And a new mouse.
I tried everything,
I could find in the house.

Nothing would work,
Or provide a reward.
It must have killed,
The motherboard.

That stupid piece
Of Tyan shiznit.
I've gotten entirely,
Too sick of it!

On vacation I went,
Far, far away.
I then returned,
After a week and a day.

Back on went the switch,
My hopes held high.
"Please tell me that,
It didn't die!"

Still no keyboard,
Still no mouse.
I sighed and sadly,
Left the house.

The lawn needed mowing,
And mow I did,
'Till of all tall grass,
Did I rid.

I called up tech support,
To see what they would say,
But all I got was "Service down,
Until next Monday."

I could not wait that long.
My withdrawal symptoms did last.
I hadn't used it for so long.
Over a week had passed!

I pulled out my old mainboard,
To give the thing a try.
I figured it would work,
Since the input circuits didn't fry.

I pulled out all the cards,
And disconnected all the wires.
"Man, this is more work, 
Than changing auto tires."

In went the other mobo,
And unfortunately for me,
There was no AGP on it,
Which meant no TNT :(

I grabbed an old S3 card,
And hoped it would suffice,
'Till I could get an upgrade,
'Till I could pay the price.

Plug in a card,
Plug in a wire,
Of this I very soon,
Did tire.

I switched it on,
But Murphy's Law,
Would not let it,
Have no flaw.

I sat down,
And stared at the screen.
No red, no blue,
Not even green.

It was not possible,
To hide.
The fact the video card too,
Had died.

On the brighter side,
Things were moving up.
The keyboard LED's,
Lit up!

Before I could stare,
At the login screen.
Now I hit Caps Lock,
And it lights up green.

What to do, what to do,
There IS a solution,
But it might be easier,
To end pollution.

I grabbed the vid card,
From my parent's comp.
And snapped it in,
With a quiet klomp.

"This is only temporary.
I'll swap it with my TNT."

It was finally running,
(In 640x48')
I glanced at my watch,
"Oh, man!  It's getting late!"

I switched on my parent's computer,
And again there could be seen,
The lack of the red, and the blue,
And of course, the lack of the green.

"Oh, great, this thing,
Apparently,
Doesn't like,
This AGP."

I looked here and there,
And all around,
But the manual,
Could not be found.

I went back over,
To the computer of me.
I needed drivers,
For that old S3.

A CD wouldn't work,
(that's another story,
I'll refrain myself,
From getting too gory)

I fired up,
Trusty 'ol DUN,
And here's where more,
Troubles begin.

"Hardware failure,"
Oh man, that's great.
Now it's getting,
REALLY late.

I figured it wasn't,
Tightly plugged in,
And shut my computer,
Down again.

I put it tightly,
In another slot,
And tried again,
But work it did not.

I held back,
My dismay,
There was still,
Another way.

The other computer,
I had to smile,
Was networked,
And had autodial!

I turned it on,
And waited to boot,
But after a minute,
It just went kerpoot.

The silly thing,
Just will not run,
When video card working,
There is none.

Well, that's OK.
There's one more hope.
But Murphy tells me,
It's a nope.

I opened up,
My downloads folder,
For I saved files,
That were older.

I scrolled, and scrolled,
And scrolled some more,
To the files I had,
From a year before.

I saw the Diamond logo,
Woohoo!
But it was for the Monster,
Well, poo.

I decided to have,
A look around,
And soon another,
Vid card was found.

"I need the screwdriver,
Now where could it be?
I have in no contacts,
And it's dark.  I can't see."

"Aha! I've found it!
I see it there,
Hiding under,
The computer chair."

I took that old vid card,
From my 386,
To give my 'rent's comp,
A temporary fix.

I grabbed some cold pizza,
My stomach to feed.
Hadn't eaten since dinner,
And it was in need.

I grabbed a large soda,
My thirst to suffice,
But there were no glasses,
"Oh great, how nice."

I grabbed a flashlight,
And back to work I went,
Over my parent's,
Computer I bent.

I turned the thing on,
But needed more light.
It was constantly fading,
Between dark and bright.

Getting that vid card in,
Seemed to take all day,
'Cuz the huge bulky thing,
Was ISA.

I think it was the only,
Thing here this night,
That on the first try,
Worked just right.

I switched it on,
And there could be seen,
ALL of the colors,
Red, blue AND green!

"At last! Finally!
Online I shall go!"
Was it that easy?
Murphy says "No!"

I loaded up Netscape,
Typed the URL in.
"Unable to resolve,
'Diamondmm.'"

It better not be
'Cuz if it is, I'll be mad.
It surely can't mean,
That my network card's bad!

I looked down, "How silly!
How stupid of me!
For something to work,
Plugged in it must be!"

I plugged in the cable,
And the LED's lit up.
I was just thinking,
"That was it, yup."

Still no resolving,
It still would not work.
I was frustrated,
My computer's a jerk.

Off went the switch.
Out went the card.
I pushed it into,
Another slot hard.

It booted back up,
And the card worked fine.
And now I'm finally,
Back online.

The drivers installed,
But one thing I hate,
No 32bit color,
In 1024x768.

The mouse still moves slow,
But I'm using my brain,
"No way I'm unplugging,
That thing again!"

As I'm typing this poem,
I realize to my dread,
That the SOUND isn't working,
Bah, screw it, I'm going to bed.

(c) 1999, Nathan "jitspoe" Wulf